Accept yourself as an ordinary person

 

Before, I didn't want to admit that I was vulgar and ordinary. To make myself look different from others, I even preferred to be a mental patient.

Many people have the same troubles as me, thinking that they may be special people. But after in-depth evaluations of themselves, they find that they are ordinary people, and they can't do things to the extreme perfectly, with a correct rate of about 80%.

Their lives are characterized by wave-particle duality, switching between what they feel is powerful and what others don't. Different observers make different judgments. Many people accomplish nothing all their lives, but their positioning is biased.

My friends were engaged in the education and training for National College Entrance Examination (NCEE). They have long studied the real questions of the previous NCEE, counted the proportion of those questions that can be done correctly by repeated training, and also counted the proportion of questions that require certain professional ability. They found that if a child understands the knowledge in textbooks, he can be admitted to an ordinary university. If special intensive training is carried out on this basis, he can be admitted to a prestigious university.

My friends have been training for NCEE for many years and deeply realized that 90% of children have similar IQs. Whether a child can get into a good university depends on whether he has been doing "effective exercises" in middle school. In other words, does the child have repeated practice for a long enough time for the basic knowledge?

For middle school students, continuous and effective practice of textbook topics is the most basic homework that needs to be done. But most children didn't do it in a down-to-earth manner? Most children were arrogant, they thought they were extraordinary, they liked doing difficult things when they wanted, and ignored the most basic.

Everything in this world is interrelated. If you don't master this basic knowledge, you can't take a step forward, let alone challenge complex problems, and your level will be locked in the basic area. This is also the most common logic in the world: life is always to complete all tasks in one stage before you can enter the next stage.

I cite NCEE as an example because most Chinese people have experienced it.

Many people can't understand why the government attaches importance to NCEE, and why it results in determining your future.

Because NCEE is a fair competition, children of all classes use the same equipment to enter the exam. At the same time, it is also a virtual task, which tests the effect of your task. If you don't even finish the task well, there is something wrong with your outlook on life. That's right, it's your outlook on life, not your low IQ. It means that your parents have a problem with their outlook on life as well.

The biggest problem is that many parents think their children are excellent, and let them take unnecessary training and answer difficult questions. Instead, they ignore basic knowledge, and the loss outweighs the gain.

Children will inherit their parents' physiological genes as well as their social genes. Their way of thinking is similar to their parent's. For example, parents think that their children have high IQ. After a long time, children will have a contradictory feeling, that is, the feeling of wave-particle duality. They feel great, but with the ordinary effect of doing things.

The most enlightened moment in my life is to admit I am ordinary. Because of my poor memory, I have to take more notes. Because of my average IQ, I have to work harder and practice effectively and repeatedly.

When I realized that I could only improve my skills through repeated practice, I became much more practical.

I used to be miserable because I found myself not a genius. But when I accepted the ordinary me, I found that I didn't need the superpower.

Parents should admit that their children are ordinary

Many ordinary people always think their children are geniuses with gene mutation, which leads to a mess in their lives. My classmates' couple is one of them. The husband and wife are both doctors, and they stayed in school as teachers after graduation. They almost divorced because of their child's education problems, and his average academic performance, which made them suspect their kid was not their own. After all, they felt they were not so stupid when they were students.

Later, they realized that this was Mean Reversion. Later, they accepted the reality that their child is ordinary. In recent years, they have adjusted their educational ideas and focused on cultivating his basic abilities and habits. For example, rigorous work, finishing what started, and practicing repeatedly. They no longer force their child to achieve their achievements.

In recent years, their child has made obvious progress, and their good habits and simple repeated exercises made his grades rank higher and higher, and they felt happy.

Many children are not confident enough, which has a lot to do with their parents' strong character. Just because parents' wishes are good doesn't mean their behavior is right. Some parents put too much expectation on their children and ignore their actual ability. It's like making a car run as fast as an airplane. What will happen?

A car is not an airplane. It can't reach the speed of an airplane, so the value of an automobile doesn't play out.

Expand the comfort zone

If you want to improve yourself, when you choose to learn the skills you have mastered, you just stay in your comfort zone. If you want to make progress, you'd better choose a little more complicated field to practice, that is the training zone.

Don't go directly to the challenge zone, because the zone is difficult, and you are prone to setbacks. After more times of failures, it is too hard to persist.

Special people are generally of two types:

One is a genius, who has many natural attributes beyond ordinary people.

The other is to achieve strong ability through a lot of effective practice.

The people I met who have achieved something are the second kind. They have been deliberately practicing abilities that are a little more complicated than their current abilities in the training zone. They finally did it through repeated training, so their self-confidence became stronger and stronger, their comfort zone became bigger and bigger, and the original challenge zone became the current training zone.

A person is very good at a field, not necessarily because he is talented, but because he has a large amount of training in this field. In most fields, the competition is the effective amount of training. The process of self-improvement is the process of constantly turning the training zone into a comfort zone.

There are three compromises in our lives

Realize your parents were ordinary people

Realize you were an ordinary

Realize your child was an ordinary

For ordinary people, you can achieve your goals through down-to-earth training in most fields (except those studied by scientists such as Einstein).

There is a building without an elevator in front of you, Spider-Man can climb it directly.

If you climb the stairs honestly, it will take you some time to get to the top. But if you choose to go upstairs like Spider-Man, it will be a tragedy.